nightmarish singing and intolerence

I'll preface this story by saying this: I didn't grow up religious. For many years, I've identified as an atheist. This doesn't say anything about how you feel about religion or a deity or anything on how I feel about how you feel about that stuff. I respect that people can make informed decisions on the topic, and if you happen to believe, you have every right to do so. I'm not going to persecute you for those beliefs, and I hope you'll offer me the same in return. For me, it's about living as a good person and being good to people and the world. Somedays, that can be more difficult than others. ;) Some people who know me also know that I dig Buddhism. I don't agree with a label of Buddhist for religious beliefs. I don't have any religious beliefs, and I believe Buddhism is a philosophy, one that resonates on some levels for me, but I honestly don't know enough about it overall.

That being said...

I woke up from a dream this morning, and I was convinced that, as I was screaming in the dream, I must have been screaming in real life. Unfortunately, Anne had already left for work, so no one was around to confirm that. It would be fair to say that I was screaming because the dream had become sort of a nightmare for me, but not in a scary way.

I was catapulted onto a Southwest flight to somewhere warm. Yes, catapulted. Roll with me here. The set up of the plane resembled some sort of dormitory sleeping room, which had open space and ten or so sets of bunk beds pushed up against the walls. I was laying on my bed, trying to get some quiet time and eventually some sleep before we got to our destination.

Unfortunately, what I can only guess must have been a church youth group or a college church group was nearby. And, they starting singing. And playing guitar. And playing the bongos. And singing... the same few lines over and over and over and over and...

I about lost my mind.

I jumped out of my bunk and screamed at them, "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" over and over. I was practically pulling my hair out, I was so frustrated with their lack of concern for the rest of the people there. I was especially perturbed that they assumed it was okay, too, to share their religious music with us, that they just assumed everyone believed what they believed and would want to share in their joyful singing (or at least be okay with it).

I made a huge scene, and I couldn't even care. I couldn't stop yelling at them, and I haphazardly gathered up my things to find another place to sleep, in another room/compartment. None of the other passengers (who weren't with the group) said anything; they just stared. They just watched as I screamed at the singers about how rude they were by singing and by forcing their beliefs on everyone and how I wouldn't stand for it.

And I woke up with that feeling that I surely must have been screaming.

On Saturday, we had a particularly feisty group of 10-15 protestors at Planned Parenthood, so I elected to go outside and "escort." (And the weather warmed up to be simply beautiful while I was out there.) The protestors were singing (badly) the same 2 or 3 lines about Jesus over and over. At the time, it got to be funny to me, listening to them sing the same words over and over--so uncreative, so uninspiring. Apparently, some part of me felt a little bit differently, and I'm guessing that's partly where the dream came from.

various and sundry

I've been remiss in my blogging duties. Apologies, kind readers.

So, what's been going on...? The wedding is in 11 days, so it would be fair to say my stress level has been higher than I would like. Along with the rising stress level come the rising levels of depression and anxiety, which make it kind of hard to do the things that are stressing one out--go freakin' figure. Add in a dash of Anne having the final tax deadline of the year and zero time to breathe, and you've got our lives right now. Phew. I got tired just writing that.

I had a nightmare this morning about the wedding. No one was listening to me and taking my directions. Instead, they were all just goofing around, and it was really, really frustrating. We were there with guests and everything, and we tried to start the ceremony six times. Add to that the dj playing the wrong processional music and me having to hook my iPod up to his speakers to play the right song. Nothing was going right. Needless to say, there wasn't any sleeping going on after that. Instead, I got up almost 2 hours before my alarm and get some wedding stuff done.

Work's been feeling stressful, too. I feel like I never have any time, and then things seem so overwhelming that I don't know where to start. But, I do start, and stuff gets done, and I work late and come in early. Lather, rinse, repeat.

On the other side of all of the stress and planning is what I know is going to be an awesome day. I hope that my inner bridezilla can control herself on the day and just have fun.

So, let's quit talking about all that wedding business. How about politics? I'm having such a great time watching Tina Fey as Sarah Palin I haven't been interested in SNL for years, but poor Palin is so ripe for SNL-type comedy. Tina Fey needs to win a friggin' Emmy for this stuff. And, how about Queen Latifah as Gwen Ifill? Brilliant, folks. Bring on President Obama.

Did I tell you I got an iPhone? Did I tell you I'm breaking up with Anne because I'm so in love with this little piece of technology? Amazing thing. Truly amazing.

The only other noteworthy thing that comes to mind at the moment is that we're starting the first faculty/staff team for the College's Relay for Life in the spring. Our team name? The Itty Bitty Knitty Committee: We're Yarned and Dangerous. Why yes, we do think we're clever; thanks for asking. We're going to make/sell handmade goods to fundraise. When we get everything up and running, I'll likely hound you for five bucks to support our team. if nothing else, it'll be fun, and the student in charge of Relay this year was SO excited when I told her I had a faculty/staff team together.

weekend update

I feel like I should post, but I can't think of anything worth posting, other than I'm clearly spending too much time at Planned Parenthood lately, which I know because I had a dream on Saturday night (after an 8-hour day there) that I was pregnant and needed to have an abortion. Our Dean of Faculty here at the college was really sweet to me about the whole thing (in my dream). Weird.

In other weirdness, I spent yesterday with my family eating good food on a holiday we don't observe, other than to exchange chocolate bunnies. Highlights from the day included: an awesome talk with my cousin on the train about her ex, my uncle's baked beans, fried chicken, playing Apples to Apples with almost the whole family, hugging my mom, laughing at unspoken masturbation jokes with my uncle and the 20somethings in the fam, giving my mom her iPod, and the shit my bro's dog will put up with. Case in point: wearing stupid shit while we take her picture.





Clearly, the dog has good reasons to hate us.

it really is time for a weather warm-up

Crocheting is more of a winter activity. I regret that, but I just can't get into it in the warmest months of the year. There's just something about making winter hats in summer that doesn't work for me.

Anne may or may not have shared with you her amusement with my crocheting a uterus. I'm doing it for my students who are organizing a production of The Vagina Monologues--a vagina wouldn't be that interesting in crochet. Well, it's been stalled, mostly because the pattern has been on the computer and not printed out. I keep thinking, though, that I need to finish it.

And so, I dreamed about it. But, it wasn't just any fiber uterus. It was a giant black worsted-weight knitted uterus, sans fallopian tubes, and a woman was inside of it, with only her head sticking out of the top. It wasn't stuffed--she had room to wiggle around in there. It was sewn closed around her neck, like a turtleneck sweater.

Clearly, this project is messing with me.