I recall in my sleep how you changed my life on Magnolia Street...

I haven't written in a long time.  There's so much to tell you about, but I never find the time unless it's days like today, when I'm overwhelmed by something that seems so worthy of writing.  Someday, I'll tell you about my urban planning class (which I love), the stress of the semester and its new batch of kids (who break my heart), and the mess of trouble I can get myself into some days.

But today.  We just got home from seeing Catie Curtis at the Old Town School of Folk Music.  Catie Curtis is one of my faves -- Shannon predicted this, I think, when we were roommates senior year of college and she brought me her copy of Catie Curtis's self-titled album, which honestly didn't catch me right off the bat.  It took till grad school, when I found myself swimming in the sorrow of her song "Troubled Mind."
 

Honestly, I can't remember if this was the second or third time I've seen her play live.  I think it was the second -- it's at least the second time I've seen her play live since I've lived in Chicago.  She played two of the songs that just live in such a deep place for me; "Kiss That Counted" had me singing and smiling when she started her set with it, and I cried when she sang "Magnolia Street." There were, of course, other gems.

And then there's the Old Town School...  I can't really describe that place and how it makes me feel.  Overwhelmed, maybe.  Awestruck.  Intimidated, even.  If you know me, you know that music is so beautiful and personal to me, and you take a place like that where the rooms are filled with people taking lessons, making music.  Wow.  I'm humbled, and I'm saddened that I quit playing the piano and the guitar and haven't been able to overcome the emotional block I have on playing music myself.

with Catie Curtis
Originally uploaded by terynjay

Put together a musician I love in a place that's so amazing, and well, I didn't think I would be able to actually go talk to Catie Curtis when she was hanging around at the merch table after the show because I couldn't stop crying.  I get so fangirl-shy around musicians I love, but I actually thought of something to say to her about her "It Gets Better" video (with her partner Liz).  Annabelle was good enough to push me to get a picture, which I wouldn't have asked for myself, on account of the shy, fangirl thing I had going on.

I'm thinking that maybe I'll go tune the guitar. Maybe.

things we do for people we love

I figured I better cop to this before someone finds out and things are misconstrued.

I did, in fact, download "Nothin' My Love Can't Fix" by Joey Lawrence yesterday. I didn't dare import it into my iTunes for fear of a trace of it lingering there.

Annabelle wanted it, I swear. She knows I'm pretty good and acquiring tough-to-find things like this, which wasn't available through the iTunes store or Amazon mp3 downloads.

So it's out there, now. You know the truth. Please don't revoke my street cred.

Would I be saved if I were brave?

I've got approximately umpteen-billion songs on my iPod, and Shawn Colvin's "If I Were Brave" just came on. Haven't listened to it in ages, and like so many other songs on the ol' iPod, I've forgotten about how wonderful the song is. It's one of those songs that is a pretty perfect package for me--the music and the lyrics are both simply awesome.

It was never clear what would come next,
But that's the risk and that's the test.
And you were the only one so far to follow.
No one talks about when one might stop and need to rest,
Or how long you sit alone before you stop looking back.
It's like you're waiting for Godot,
and then you pick your sorry ass up off the street,
And go.

There have been plenty of times in my life when I could't capture what I felt and put it into words. In these moments, when emotions swim and swirl--almost to the point of my drowning--I connect with music, and I find in music what I cannot find the words to say.

This song came out during my freshmen year of college, and I really connected with it then. I find myself connecting with it today, though in different ways that--no surprise to me--I cannot explain.

And, it makes me sad, knowing that there's music out there I connect with so deeply and that people I love can't always follow those connections. Or that people I love don't have that kind of relationship with music. I think this is one of the reasons Heinous and I really connected in grad school and have stayed such good friends; she gets this.

Thanks, Heinous.

my brother strikes again

whoa, iPod

First song of the morning: "Omaha" by Counting Crows
Followed by: "Fake Plastic Trees" by Radiohead

90's flashback of introspective rockerboys - I wonder what'll be next.

thanks, BNL

Per the usual, it's freezing in my office. I should bring in some sort of thermometer to see how cold it actually gets in here. And a blanket. I should definitely bring in a blanket.

Despite the cold fingers, I've been PRODUCTIVE, which is pretty remarkable for a Monday, especially so since my Mondays are especially heinous.

I've been listening to the Barenaked Ladies all morning. I think that's helped, though I kinda wish I was "lyin' in bed, just like Brian Wilson did." Mmmm, sleep.

The weekend was pretty good. I was back to volunteer at Planned Parenthood after being gone 5 or 6 weeks (October was BUSY). We had Ethiopian with some of my work pals on Saturday and dinner with my pal Jennjer on Sunday after she played with the College's orchestra and choir in Wrigleyville. I'm not a huge fan of classical-type or choral-type musics, but they were awesome.

I know my friend Roly's excited for the Peppermint Mochas, but honestly, I'm just not ready to give up the Pumpkin Spice Latte. There's no comparison. I had one yesterday on the way to the concert, and there's nothing like a hot cup of coffee on a cold autumn day.

Time for lunch before my 5 straight hours of meetings/out-of-office stuffs.

I'd rather be crocheting.

Why is it that the one and only website I need to work this afternoon has to continue to fail to load?! I finally got a text for a student who needs it in electronic format, and I need to get the publisher contact info.

In other--better--news, it's Curry Hut Wednesday. Indian buffet, baby. So. Stuffed.

I'm totally engrossed in my project for the Ravelympics, the 17-day challenge for knitters/crocheters on Ravelry. Goodness, how I want to work on it. I've finished all my red "squares," and now the purple are almost done. I might actually finish this project. :)

My grandmother called this morning to report that my grandfather is definitely perking up, which is good, though if he had his way, he wouldn't leave ICU until he's ready to go home. We think he likes the attention. ;)

Has anyone else been completely mesmerized by Brandi Carlile's "The Story" on that GM commercial they keep playing during the Olympics? I get transfixed every time that commercial plays. I want to hear it right now. In fact, I just might go off and find it. Totally productive use of of time, I know. :P But if it helps with my filing...

various and sundry

Feels like I'm due to write something, so here goes...

Piper has an ear infection. Squirting medicine in a cat's ear isn't as fun as you might think it would be. She's almost completely mended, though.

Which leads me to my grandfather, who should be mended, part 1, on Thursday when he has his Whipple Procedure done to correct his chronic pancreatitis. Following, my grandmother will be staying with us for several days while he's in the hospital. Conveniently, the hospital where he's going (and it's a great doc there, btw), is just down the road from a Metra stop, so I can take her to visit him and then hop on the train for a few hours of work. There's no reason to think anything should go wrong with his surgery, as he's got a doc who does these all the time, but if you can spare some good thoughts on Thursday morning, they couldn't hurt. I intend to work on my sweater crochet project while we wait.

And while we're on crocheting, I'll note that I'm going to participate in the Ravelympics, which involves a 17-day challenge project, mine being an afghan of 4' x 4'. I mapped out the design yesterday, which is allowed, though I can't start the crocheting till the opening ceremonies of Beijing. I hope I can do it.

One recent project is almost completely done: our wedding invitations. I just picked them up from the printer here on campus. The invitations, reply cards, and maps have, so far, cost less than $8 80 cents (I can do math, really) apiece, though I haven't yet purchased envelopes. Damn, that price is good, and I'm ecstatic with how the look. I want to walk around campus with them, going up to people and saying, "Look! Don't they look cool! I designed these! And they were printed on campus for super cheap!" I'm like a kid.

Finally, I'll note that I've embarked on a large project I'll be proud to finish very soon: uploading all of my cds to my computer. I'm nearing the end of the alphabet, and I broke 6,000 songs yesterday. Once I get everything on there, I intend to go through the catalog and mark the files I don't want included as fair game for my shuffle. Plus, I can't imagine my iPod, awesome as he is, is going to be able to hold all this stuff. This is a hell of a lot of music, friends, and I think it needs a little prioritizing. After all, I don't need holiday music on there now, so trimming the catalog a bit is worth it, especially if I don't have to listen to "Elf's Lament" until December.

I'm up way too early.

Note to my brain: 5:20 and 7:00 are not the same thing. Since I've been up awhile, thought I'd have time to write a post.

I went to a workshop yesterday on technology and teaching writing. I learned one thing: I'm already hip to different web stuffs I could integrate into my teaching of writing. Wow. The one thing I got out of it was the idea to blog while I design my class and in the process of teaching it. If I teach writing as a process, I like the idea of the transparency of my own process for my students.

Today, Mom, Bro, SIL, and I are going with my grandparents for my grandfather's consultation on his upcoming surgery for his pancreatitis. Mostly, I think we're going to hang out together, but there's something about being there--for me anyway--with this Big Deal Surgery stuff.

It's been a week for good treats so far. We finally got our butts over to Siobhankha and Pjregularjb"'s new pad, which is awesome, and we then headed out for yummy sundaes. Anne and I shared a hot-fudge sundae with raspberries. Tomorrow, I'm meeting ProfH for breakfast at a place she says serves stuff like Key Lime French Toast. Ohhhhh... Tonight, we're meeting up with Jennjer and GourmetGoddess for a concert-on-the-lawn. We're seeing Robert Plant and Allison Krauss, whose Raising Sand album is awesome. I'm sure the food I prep will have nothin' on what those lovely ladies prepare.

two-month hiatus? ha!

I'm wondering when that two-month break I have off from work is going to start. For serious. I worked 2 days last week and 2 this week. I was supposed to be in today, too, but I'm home cleaning instead. My dad's coming to town for the first time since I've lived in Chicago, and I spent my cleaning day (read: yesterday) catching up on much(!)-needed rest. In the past couple of weeks, I've worked too often, seen the Indigo Girls and James Taylor (his show was in the rain), hung out with Merdie, bought a wedding dress, gone with Anne to buy her wedding dress, gone with Merdie to buy her attendant's dress, and probably done a bunch of other things I can't remember anymore. Upcoming events include: Dad's visit, camping with Jandyle's family, MBJ's wedding events (I'm in the wedding), a workshop at work on technology and teaching writing, Alison Krause and Robert Plant in concert, going with Merdie to get her birthday tattoo, and stuff associated with my grandfather's health. That ought to get its own paragraph, frankly.

So here goes. My grandfather (Opi, after Opa, which is German for grandfather) gets chronic pancreatitis, which you usually only see in people who are heavy drinkers. He doesn't happen to be one of those, not in the slightest. After several bouts of it that were primarily treated with antibiotics (I'm guessing) and lots of pain meds, he saw a specialist, who diagnosed a benign tumor on his pancreas, that clogs the pancreas with secretions. This is pretty serious, as the tumor could become cancerous. Serious, also, is the treatment for this condition, which is called the Whipple Procedure. It's an 8-hour surgery to remove parts of the pancreas, stomach, small intestine, and gall bladder. This is one of those get-it-right-or-your-patient-is-fucked sort of surgeries, so he's naturally going to see a top-notch doc. Consult is next week, surgery TBD. Right now, I'm just concentrating on the part where we finally know what's causing his health problems.

In other, happier news, I'm crocheting like mad. I made a cute drawstring backpack, and I'm working on a cardigan sweater. This is the first time I've crocheted into the summer months, and I'm still diggin' it.

Alrighty, back to cleaning. I've had a long enough break, and I can no longer put off the sweeping.

welp, a post.

Don't think I've posted in awhile. I've had plenty to say, I guess, but it's happened in comments or in person to somebody else. I've been reading blogs, just not writing.

I'm on my 2-month semi-hiatus from the College right now. And where am I writing to you from? My office at the College. :P Had some odds and ends I wanted to take care of, and I'm back up here tomorrow to meet with the academic appeals board.

So, what does a girl do in her spare time once she becomes a stay-at-home-kitty-mom? If you're me, you accept your honey-do list, add in a few other creative projects that need to be done, and call it a day. I'm home all day again on Thursday, during which time I'll be cleaning for Jennjer, who's staying with us Friday after our make-up Indigo Girls concert (she's allergic to cats). Saturday, Anne and I will accompany Jennjer to see James Taylor, which should be fun.

Merdie was here last week, and I'm going to go dress shopping with her next week--for her attendant dress for our shindig. Speaking of which, I bought my dress last Friday. I'm not telling; I want it to be a surprise to some people, at least.

I'm hoping to do a BIG Ravelry postfest this week. I took pics of lots of recent crochet projects, and I need to get back to cataloging them. Geeky, I know, but I do heart teh crochet.

I planted flowers yesterday. :) I picked up 3 vincas and planted them in the flowerbox my grandfather made me when I was in graduate school. They're going to look supercute once they really get going. I'll have to take a picture. :)

And, now that everything's done--for today--for me at the College, I think I'll wander to the train. Peace out, homies.

PS What is it about Ani's "School Night"? Dang, how deeply I feel (and love) that song.

finally, a chance to use your powers for good!

We got my friend's daughter into the local radio station's "Battle of the Brides" a few years ago with our mad internet voting skillz. Now, I'm calling on you, dear readers, to help my brother, who know you I love dearly, to get his video into rotation on MTV. Here's the email he sent to his email list:

hey friends and family,

we're in the running to be put into rotation on MTV. but of course, there's a catch. we need to get voted in.

yeah, this is just some bull jive to get bands who are trying to get known to get all of their friends to visit some crappy website. BUT, it would super rad to get our video played on MTV, even if it is at 3 a.m. and apparently this is the way we have to do it.

so if you have a free moment and you'd like to show us a little love, please go here: http://www.mtvu.com/music/freshmen/
and give Yea Big + Kid Static a vote or two. but only if you sincerely think our video is the best! we are confident you will. haha.

thanks a bunch for even reading this.

oh yeah, and we're heading out on tour in a few days! check out our myspace page for all the dates to see if we'll be anywhere near you soon. www.myspace.com/yeabigkidstatic

thanks again!
love,
yb+ks

Dear readers, if you have a few moments to spare, I (and the boys) would appreciate a few clicks to vote for them.

it's lookin' good

Remember when MTV did Buzz Bin for hot new stuff? We're talking great stuff coming out of that feature, like Bush, DMB, Filter, etc. Well, that time is long over, buried out there somewhere with beloved grunge music. It looks like something from that remains, and there's now a Buzzworthy blog.

And my brother's in it.

Okay, so it's a little like a celebrity blog, but hey, he's on the same page of posts right now as Panic! At the Disco and Rhianna--musicians people have heard of.

This shit is really taking off.

Tonight, the boys play on campus, which Bro and I had nothing to do with but are both stoked about. The parents will be here, too, which is kinda fun. They've never seen where I work, and our campus is beautiful, even in the dead of friggin' winter.

um, wow!

My bro's video (Yea Big + Kid Static's "The Life Here") is at the top of the list of featured videos on the front page of YouTube today. Holy shit, that's cool.

foiled again!

On Saturday, we made the trek down to Bloomington for about 24 hours of fun. We had lunch with my dear friend (since high school!) J, who hadn't yet met Anne. It was lovely, as always, to see her and laugh with her. We then headed over to Merdie's place, where we did a little crochet and Food Network before we headed out to dinner. Next stop, Illinois Wesleyan University for their monthly folk series Blue Moon Coffeehouse to see folkrocker Jess Klein. Ever since having a dream about serious flirting with Jess Klein (thank you, prozac dreams!), my love of her music has been amped up to an all-around love of Jess. She's in my five--you know, the list of people with whom it's not cheating. ;) Merdie's love of Jess and her music has also grown over time, so the two of us were super psyched to see Jess. (Anne, who also likes Jess's music, humored our crushes.) We arrived early at Wesleyan to camp out for good seats. I grabbed a spot by the door, Merdie sat on the steps, and Anne tossed her coat on my head while she wandered off to the bathroom. Being the odd kid I am, I sat there with her coat on my head, covering my face, Merdie laughing nearby. The place was deserted save for us... until the door behind me opened and Jess and Darcy, the Blue Moon organizer, walked past and up the stairs to the Green Room. Apparently, Jess gave Merdie a "Huh?" look about my sitting there with the coat over my face, to which Merdie just shrugged. I'm star-struck enough with musicians that I don't really need any help looking stupid in front of them. Needless to say, Jess didn't end up coming home with us. *sigh* The show was great, so we left happy anyway.

It's truly amazing that such big, soulful sound comes out of such a little woman.







My little 3.1 megapixel just isn't cutting it with video compared to some of the bigger-and-better-and-newer models. I tried anyway, and I cleaned up the sound as much as I could (funny, that my brother is a musician/producer with quite an ear, and I can barely clean up sound on a video :P ). This is Jess doing "Real Live Love."

some people annoy the shit out of me

After dealing with Bitchy Mom yesterday morning, I ducked out early to do my last weekday escorting shift at Planned Parenthood for the 40-Day Vigil the antis are putting on. It's...amazing, and that's really the best word. All over the country right now, hundreds of people are giving up parts of their days to pray at abortion clinics. They're do busy worrying about women going in and out of an abortion clinic to do anything in their own communities to help kids, low-income women, teens. That's one of the most frustrating things for me.

And then yesterday, we had another one of the things that frustrates me most when I escort: aggressive protesters. If you want to do your prayer line, fine. Whatever. I think it's a waste of time that doesn't do anything to prevent unwanted pregnancy. (You want to stop abortion? Do something to help prevent unwanted pregnancy!) We had two yesterday afternoon who were CHASING people who left the clinic. I had one couple who left, perhaps to get money, and when I opened the door for them, he said, "We'll be back." The two women in the prayer line watched them cross Division and then ran across themselves. And then, they stood there and talked to them. I'm not allowed to go far from my post, and since I was the only escort there with our security guard, I didn't feel comfortable leaving my post. It was painful--and a real struggle for me to know what to do--watching those middle-class, middle-aged white women with their rosaries chase down that working-class black couple and hold them in conversation. That couple never did come back. Our security guard was livid. He was so pissed that the man wasn't standing up for his woman, protecting her from the protesters, and while the gender assumptions bugged me, I actually had to agree. What she was going through was bad enough; the person with her needed to help her.

When they left, they stopped to talk to us. That's the worst for me because we're not allowed to talk to them at all. The tall one of the two aggressive women stood less than a foot away from me and proceeded to tell me all about Margaret Sanger and what a bad person she was and how she hated albinos (Hello! I'm a person with albinism, bitch! Person-first language!) and how I shouldn't want to support an organization that she supported because she hated me. The shorter of the two was all about messing with our security guard, telling him he had kind eyes and that she wished he brought his kindness elsewhere. She got on him, too, about Sanger and how she was a racist and the same stupid lines they tried to feed me. The tall one left saying, "God bless you," to me. I wish I'd thought to say back, "Why? I didn't sneeze."

It BUGS me to no end when people try and impose their views on me and other people. It's my decision to be there and much as it's theirs, and I'm not attacking them for it. I'm not attacking them for their religious beliefs. Nothing like escorting to remind you of people's black-and-white thinking and double standards.

An interesting thing's been happening, though. I listen to them do their rosaries, something I once did, and I hear my own voice in my head repeating the Hail Mary with them. And then, it becomes something else: The Prayer of St. Francis, a prayer of peace.

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.

I hear it sung by Sarah McLachlan (a lovely version), and the fact it came to mind "randomly" seems an apt move by my subconscious. It reminds me to work through my anger and frustration and focus on doing good work. And, to keep working at not hating. It's a work-in-progress.

My brother wears sweatbands.

Check out the cameo from my neicepuppy Miso.

my brother, the showman

My bro got a nice review this week from XLR8R:

Yea Big & Kid Static S/T Jib Door
This LP is worth listening to just for Deejay Yea Big’s production. Stuttering, glitchy, and just plain jaw-dropping, Yea Big’s beats are up there with the big guns of Prefuse 73 and Daedelus. With Kid Static’s humorous, yet angst-filled rhyming filling it out, this duo have put excitement and innovation back into hip-hop.

This project is so good. The rhymes are cool, the beats rock, and the two of them are so much damn fun. Can you tell I'm a proud sister?

Love, Starbucks

Yesterday, there was a package awaiting me, an unordered, unexpected package. A package from Starbucks. To thank me for being a loyal customer. They sent me a cd. Can you believe that?! Because I've had a Starbucks card (automattically bills Anne's credit card to refill itself) for almost 3 years and buy a coffee about once a week with said Starbucks card.

So, let's look at this...Anne buys me Starbucks weekly, and because of it, Starbucks sent me a free cd of good music (so far!).

I win so hard.

on her bubbly toes

I don't understand the appeal of Jack Johnson. I really wish someone could explain to me why he's so great, so...dare I say?...fratastic. I mean, what the hell is this?

It's as simple as something that nobody knows that
Her eyes are as big as her bubbly toes
On the feet of the queen of the hearts of the cards
And her feet are infested with tar balls and

La da da da da da

Is there any woman out there who thinks that "bubble" is a compliment to her toes? And, would she really want to think that's what her eyes were like? And, what's this whole "tar balls" bit about?

These are the things I think about at the bathroom mirror first thing in the morning, the dull roar of the radio playing songs I sometimes wish I didn't know. I had to listen to XRT this morning because The Mix was doing it's Radiothon for Children's Memorial Hospital (only so much pathos I can take first thing in the morning), and while being relatively male-dominated, XRT did okay by me this morning. After all, I got to hear my first Arcade Fire song. "Keep the Car Running" was the song played after "Bubble Toes," and I really liked it. See, my brother's a big fan, but he's also friends with Will, who's in the band. My brother likes a lot of weird music, so I never put too much stock in what he likes without hearing it first (and a lot of it I don't love after hearing it). Man, did I miss the ball on the Arcade Fire, I think.

I think the Arcade Fire could totally beat up Jack Johnson. Just sayin'.